How to be more Keanu Reeves… all day, every day - British GQ

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A new book by film critic James King celebrates the life – and the way of life – of God amongst men Keanu Reeves. So, if you want to be more Keanu, here’s how…

7am

The situation: You wake up feeling a bit miserable.

What would Keanu do? OK, let’s start with a big one. As someone who’s recovered from more than his fair share of sadness in his life, Keanu has all the answers. It’s made him like a walking, talking motivational quote, full of doozies such as, “The person who was holding me back from my happiness was me.” And, “Every struggle in your life has shaped you into the person you are today.” His current contentment is proof that change comes from within. Clarifying your problems by writing them down is perhaps the simplest way to begin the process of recovery. Once isolated, issues are suddenly a lot more manageable.

7.45am

The situation: It clicks why you’re in a bad mood. You had too much to drink last night and overshared on Twitter.

WWKD? Delete the app. Keanu isn’t on any social media and it all adds to his mystery. If he started ranting online about bad service from his mobile phone provider he wouldn’t seem quite so enigmatic, would he? “Silence is true wisdom’s best answer” goes the old saying. Be a real warrior, not a keyboard one.

8.30am

The situation: On your way to work a group of kids laugh at you for wearing a face mask.

WWKD? Of course in a movie Keanu would wipe out any such oiks with a barrage of jiujitsu, but in real life the John Wick star is famously courteous and kind. He would never get into a slanging match. “I was raised to treat people exactly how I would like to be treated by others. It’s called respect,” he once claimed. So stay calm, take a deep breath and move on. Or you could just baffle the hell out of them with a Matrix misquote: “Dudes. There is no mask.”

10am

The situation: You bump into an old colleague at work but you’ve completely forgotten their name.

WWKD? Politeness gets you a long way. Dig yourself out of the hole with a classic Keanu-style earnest compliment. Example: “My most resplendent and non-bogus friend... you’re breathtaking!” After such poetry, they hopefully won’t mind that you really can’t remember who the hell they are.

2pm

The situation: You have to do a presentation in front of colleagues. To joke or not to joke?

WWKD? Gags break down barriers and Keanu knows that the most appealing way to raise a laugh is through self-deprecation. Watch him spoof himself in Toy Story 4 for evidence. Self-awareness like that is an important measure of emotional intelligence. Subconsciously we recognise that those who can joke at their own expense are confident in themselves and that in turn builds trust. And if you’re nervous, just remember the phrase that John Wick has inked across his shoulder blades: “Fortis Fortune Adiuvat.” Translation? “Fortune favours the bold.”

2.10pm

The situation: OK, so you’ve got some laughs from your presentation but it’s hot up there at the podium. How to avoid those sweat patches under the arms?

WWKD? A basic one, this. Why do you think Keanu wears black all the time?

3pm

The situation: You wow with your presentation and your female boss wants a photo together for the internal newsletter. But where do you put your hands?

WWKD? Keanu is the master of posing with women in pictures yet not appearing too grabby. His technique? The arm goes around the waist but hovers rather than ever actually touching the body. Tactile but not Trump-like. Most excellent.

7pm

The situation: It’s been a day of wins, but now you’ve got a first date and you’re nervous. How to behave?

WWKD? “The simple act of paying attention can take you a long way,” the great man once proclaimed. In other words, he’s no mansplainer. Listen closely to everything your date says. Be open-minded to her ideas, even if they differ to your own. And for the full effect, throw in the occasional “Whoa”.

8pm

The situation: Your date catches you eyeing up another woman at the bar.

WWKD? Stupid question. Keanu would never do that in the first place.

11pm

The situation: Time for bed but after the day you’ve had you are way too wired to sleep.

WWKD? Keanu once played Buddha, so the guy knows how to chill out. And as the legendary Siddhartha himself once revealed, “The ultimate truth is not even to think.” In other words, meditate. Meditating lowers stress and anxiety while improving concentration and last thing at night is the ideal antidote to the distractions of your iPhone. Sleep well and you’ll wake the next day ready to take on whatever life throws at you... even if that’s keeping a bus above 50mph or catching a bunch of bank-robbing surfers.

Be More Keanu by James King (Square Peg, £9.99) is out on 6 August.

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