This week, like so many other weeks in our country’s history, has been darkened by several allegations of horrific family violence-related tragedies. With each new headline comes an ice-cold trickle of dread, the acknowledgment that this other pandemic of male entitlement – the one that’s been rolling on silently, unchecked – has claimed another life.
On Tuesday morning, the burnt body of Gold Coast mother-of-three Kelly Wilkinson was found in the backyard of her Arundel home, her three children, all younger than nine years old, present at the time.
Her ex-partner Brian Earl Johnston was found semi conscious nearby, and has since been charged with her murder.
The following day, 2000km south from the place Kelly died, Adelaide man Henry Shepherdson jumped to his death from the Whispering Wall at the Barossa Valley Reservoir, with his nine-month-old baby, Kobi. Tragically, the infant also died at the scene.
Just hours before the murder/suicide, Shepherdson had reportedly been in court seeking to reverse a December 2020 decision which restricted contact with his family as part of his bail conditions.
RELATED: Heartbreaking claim about burnt mum
The shockwaves left behind in the carnage of these two deaths will continue to reverberate in the community for days and weeks to come. People are justifiably heartbroken and angry. Yet a portion of society seems intent on pointing that anger in any direction but that of the alleged perpetrator.
Across social media, in the comments section of every major story that runs on this kind of violent act, the sickening replies pile up.
“This is the act of a man driven crazy with grief by a system that persecutes fathers,” one commenter has the audacity to dribble under an image of baby Kobi’s sweet smile, now forever frozen in infancy.
“The courts have blood on their hands: parental alienation is real and it destroys lives,” chimes in another, and at this point I want to throw my phone into a well.
RELATED: Murdered baby’s family speak out
This persistent narrative, one that pops up like a cold sore the minute a man chooses to end the life of his partner or child, seeks to blame supposedly vindictive women and a court system skewed against men for the unthinkable acts they commit.
These people click their tongues and shake their heads and then in the same breath blame mothers for the horrors wrought against their bodies and their babies.
Yes, parental alienation exists. I’ve witnessed first-hand the devastation this horrendous practice has rained down on the lives of both male and female friends denied access to their children.
But there are a few things that need clarifying here. Firstly, the idea that the majority of parental alienation is a weapon wielded against men by women is a fallacy; statistically both genders are equally as likely to engage in this.
A related stat that these murder-apologists also frequently get wrong is the one they like to trot out in a stunning display of whataboutism: “women are more likely to kill their children.” False. Again, the crime of filicide is committed equally between men and women.
But more importantly, the idea that parental alienation can drive an otherwise loving parent to murder is so bizarre and disturbing that it indicts anyone sick enough to support it.
Because if you genuinely believe that a man who has the potential to murder his child based upon the decision of a court should EVER have access to any child, then you are part of the problem. YOU are ‘the system’ that is failing women and children. And despite whatever pathetic caveats you couch your vile Facebook comments in, you are absolutely condoning murder.
RELATED: FB posts before sick murder-suicide
The only thing ‘proven’ by tragedies such as the ones we’ve seen this week is that the mothers involved were right to try and protect themselves and their babies from the monsters who would harm them. If the courts failed anyone, it was the victims, not the male perpetrators who chose – yes, chose – to commit murder.
This week of domestic violence has shattered two more families. Statistically, next week will bring another, and the week after that, and the week after that.
And if your first response to hearing about this is to find away to blame women and absolve the perpetrators, then there is blood on your hands as well.
Bek Day is a freelance writer.
https://news.google.com/__i/rss/rd/articles/CBMikAFodHRwczovL3d3dy5uZXdzLmNvbS5hdS9uYXRpb25hbC9jcmltZS9zdG9wLWJsYW1pbmctd29tZW4tYW5kLXRoZS1jb3VydHMtZm9yLXdoeS1tZW4ta2lsbC10aGVpci1raWRzL25ld3Mtc3RvcnkvMjBjYWRkOGNlZTk1M2M5MmVhNzgyYjNmYTQ1YjhhMzHSAZABaHR0cHM6Ly9hbXAubmV3cy5jb20uYXUvbmF0aW9uYWwvY3JpbWUvc3RvcC1ibGFtaW5nLXdvbWVuLWFuZC10aGUtY291cnRzLWZvci13aHktbWVuLWtpbGwtdGhlaXIta2lkcy9uZXdzLXN0b3J5LzIwY2FkZDhjZWU5NTNjOTJlYTc4MmIzZmE0NWI4YTMx?oc=5
2021-04-23 03:20:06Z
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